4/22/16

Definitely had another Bryan dream..
I sort of hate it but love it at the same time.

So, last night I dreamt that I was on this hike in the desert with a bunch of people. We were watching for eagles and trying to keep them from doing something. I'm not sure what but it was a big deal. In my dream I found the eagle. It was huge!! It was trying to eat something and we were chasing it. It had a little mouse in its tallens and we were running toward it. When I got up to it it was kind of sitting on a wall but not on top of the wall.. it was on the side of the wall.. like a lizard or spider would be. Anways, the mouse was falling out from under it and it was trying to get a better grip. We shot the eagle with these were darts and it still kept flying!

For some reason there was a house ahead of us. The bird went toward the house with the open door and as I ran toward it I knew I had to make the decision on whether or not I was going to follow the bird into the house. I was on the fence about following the bird in because it just so happened to be Bryan's families house. Bryan was there for the weekend so I knew I would see him and I knew he would be freaked out that I was in his parents house without him inviting me.

SIDENOTE/ANALYSIS*** Bryan is actually at his parents house right now so this makes sense. Also I really like his family so I guess it makes sense that I'm also dreaming about seeing them.

So as you probably would guess I definitely did go into the house. Right when I ran in after the bird I all of a sudden realized I wasn't wearing any pants. JUST PINK BOY SHORTS. I was so embarrassed and hoping no one would see me. The plan was I would go in quietly and chase the bird out not being seen by anyone. I run in after the bird and chase it all the way back to a room that I know is Bryan's. In my dream there are multiple ways to get into most of the rooms so I leave the room and try to come in from another way. I end up running into a little boy.. I was confused because it wasn't bryan's little brother. I said hi to him and went along with my business kind of running away to get the bird. There is a bathroom in the middle of the living room and Bryan's bedroom.. The bathroom door is cracked and I know someone is in there so I run away to get back into the room with the bird. The bathroom also is connected to Bryan's room. I slightly open the door and there standing half naked... Bryan. All I could think is how embarrassed I was so I start closing the door and he stops me. He tells me to come in and asks what I'm doing there but in a good surprised way. He was happy to see me. I then I magically had pants on.. thank god. He was putting on clothes from just getting out of the shower when I was trying to explain about the bird. I showed him the dart and told him the bird was somewhere in the house and I wasn't sure where it had went. Then one of his brothers walks in and says hi to me. He starts talking about us and how good we were together. Bryan and I were sitting on a futon and his brother sitting on  couch right to the side of us. When we first sat down Bryan put his hands on my back and quickly pulled them away as if he forgot we weren't together so those actions weren't okay anymore. I could feel him moving closer to me as his brother reminded us of so many nice things. Then all of a sudden the eagle came flying out of the curtains. We all freaked out and I grabbed the dart and bow thing that was with it and I shot. The bird finally came down in front of us.. still alive but tranquilized.

The next part me and Bryan were making out and his dad walked in. Me and his dad made eye contact while we were kissing so obviously I jumped back a little. His dad didn't seem fazed but I was so embarrassed. So then, I was like uuuh Bryan your dad is in here and he was like ooh hi dad.. Then his dad said hello to me and told me I should go say hi to Bryan's mom because she would be happy to see me. We went out into the living and it became aparent that a party was about to be happening. I saw his mom and went to say hi. His sisters also saw me and were really excited to see me they both hugged me and told me they were glad that I came and honestly I was really glad that I was there and really happy that they were glad I was there.

Bryan introduced me to two friends of his. As he was introducing me he said I was his girlfriend. I looked up at him shocked and he just smiled at me. The guys were like ooooh you're the girl. That made me feel so good. The guys walked away and Bryan told me he loved me and that he didn't want us to be apart anymore. He kissed me and I felt like the prettiest luckiest person in the world.

SIDENOTE/ANAYLSIS***The next part is really detailed and boring to write for anyone else who reads it but it was really nice. I know I miss spending time with Bryan but lucky (and creepily) for me I can just fake hang out with him in my dreams. Gosh.. I feel creepy but slightly okay with it.

His mom was offering me food and they were eating tamales. There were so many different kinds.. Bryan ate 6 and I ate 4... weird yes.. I remember exactly how many. I remember Bryan making fun of me for my flavor choices and both of us just laughing. Bryan wanted to leave and kept giving me this look so I felt like he wanted to have sex but I wasn't sure. He told his mom we would be leaving but she wanted us to stay so Bryan was a little annoyed I told him it was okay and to calm his moody pants down. Then we were standing in the living room and he told me to move in with him next year. He looked at me with the happiest look on his face and told me he wouldn't want it any other way and that we would just figure it out. He was like we can sleep on this futon that I have and it will be okay. I told him I do have a bed that we could just move into his place. And I told him that I need to go to school on the coast so that I was unsure. I told him I would get my lisence over the summer and then I could just commute to class and live with him.

SIDENOTE/ANALYSIS** Bryan actually has a really nice bed in real life so I don't know why we would have to sleep on a futon.. also .. I don't have a bed to contribute... lol

WAKING UP*** So,  waking up I felt really good because I love dreaming about him. Seeing that we aren't speaking and I'm having these love/baby dreams about him though... is freaking me out.. I feel like a groupie or something. Like I'm so in love with someone who doesn't even know I exist. Yea I know he said he loves me like two days ago and that sometimes he regrets us breaking up but yea... I am definitely the one that can't get over this. Also, last night I went to bed really angry and sad/crying about him. He didn't really do anything.. except go home for the weekend. When he goes home for the weekend now all I can think is that he's hanging out/sleeping with his ex.. which makes me angry and sad even though I don't really have a right to be because we aren't together. So dumb. I hate my personal life right now. I need to get over him. As much as I love these dreams I'd also like them to stop so I can stop feeling like a super creep.