Thursday, May 5, 2016
5/4/16
I had another dream about the ocean and swimming with really big animals in the dark. It sounds kind of scary but this is a reoccuring dream I have. I have had this dream since I was probably in middle school maybe younger. In the dream it's a bit scary but I'm never scared. There's creepy animals in the water with me and it feels normal and I don't get creeped out until I wake up and realize that it was actually quite creepy. My little sister was in the dream with me and she was definitely scared. In the dream I was looking for some type of animal. I kept finding all these invertebrates but I think I was looking for a bigger animal. It was hurt somewhere and I knew it so I was trying to find it but I didn't know exactly what it looked like or what exactly it was. It was like I knew I would know when I say it. I woke up without finding it.. whatever it was.
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
5/3/16
Had a dream about this dude.. it was good. I was on date with him.. he's attractive. yay. ...
SIDENOTE/ANALYSIS** he's a real dude I just met so that's pretty awesome.
Also at some point I was at a beach with a bunch of people and there were crazy waves that were wipping everyone out. This one wave came and we caught this giant fish and it ended up turning into this weird baby aquatic bear looking thing. It was so cute and we were petting it and trying to see if it was alive. It was so small it could fit in our hands. It finally woke up and transformed into a weird thing that coudl speak english. Then it transformed again and turned evil so we were trying to get rid of it.
Sunday, May 1, 2016
5/1/16
I forgot to write the past couple days because I got busy.. oops. Today I took a 4 hour nap that was much needed and the good news is a had a dream! It was a good dream and bad dream.
In the first part of the dream I was standing in a parking lot with a bunch of people I didn't know and my friend neimy and some other kid. We were waiting to drop something off when this big grey broken down looking truck came up. In my dream I got really excited because my step brother was driving. I ran up to the pasanger side and was smiling and waving and saying hi. The guy on the passanger side just looked at me crazy and my step brother just started laughing. He looked like he was on drugs and I knew he was mad at me for not hanging out with him last time I said I was going to.
SIDENOTE/ANAYLSIS** I actually really was supposed to hang out with him last time I was in Vegas but I got scared and didn't want to becaus I didn't want to get in the car with him if he was on drugs.
So, we all go into this house and my friends are down stairs with some people and I go up stairs to get something from a bedroom. I felt my step brother following me up the stairs and it started to freak me out because he was definitely on something. When I got to the bedroom door I felt him grab my hips and I told him not and pushed him off of me. He got angry and grabbed me harder. I some how got away and made a run for the stairs where he caught me again. After he caught me I was some how able to throw him down the stairs. I got scared that he was dead so I told my friends to hurry. He ran out the door and he got up and started to run after us. We got in the back of this truck and drove away.
The End.
SIDENOTE/ANAYLSIS**
I don't know why I would dream my step brother is a pervert... He's pretty cool besides the drug use in real life. He's a pretty nice guy. We didn't grow up together so I don't know him to well. I do think he's really attractive though.
The second dream I had had nothing to do with the first part. This dream was the good one. It was very comforting and warm. It was about.. you guessed it.. Bryan. I had a dream that we lived next door at the house he lives at now. I was sitting outside on this lawn chair and saw Bryan walking away from the house I got nervous to see him so I went in the house for a second. I came back out and we saw each other for a couple seconds. He knew I was avoiding him a little but it wasn't out of anger or sadness. I just didn't know how to act when I was around him. One of his cousins started talking to me outside and told me that Bryan wasn't doing too good and I felt sad about that. I didn't want him to be sad. Bryan ended up coming up to me and telling me he wanted us to talk so I said okay. Later I saw him outside on the side of his house sitting on this red really big recliner. It was really comfy and could fit 2 people. He was talking to someone.. I think it might have been his brother. The converstation looked really sad and when Bryan saw me he just started crying. My immediate reaction in my dream was to grab him and hold him and that's what I did. In my dream it felt like forever that we were sitting there grabbing each other while he cried. At this point I was sitting in his lap wrapped around him as much as I possibly could be. He told me a girl broke up with him and he didn't think she was the one but he wasn't expecting it and that there was more to the story. I told him it was okay and that he would be okay. I had my arms wrapped around his neck and back and our faces were touching me. I told him I loved him and that he would be okay. He looked into my eyes and started kissing me. We sat on the couching making out his tears at this point all over my face. He had to go to some kind of meeting or something so he got up and told me he would tell me the rest later. I told him I hoped he felt better and then we both left. I then talked to some girl with dark brown hair in some office about it. I was asking her questions about the break up and then I woke up.
SIDENOTE/ANALYSIS*** Kind of weird that I'm having dreams about consoling him after a break up when we're ex's, it didn't feel weird in the dream though. I just wanted to make him feel better. The moment I saw him being sad I couldn't help but wrap myself around him. In the dream I felt like he needed it.. like he needed me and my friendship. Maybe I'm dreaming that because I wish it were true in real life. I think I wish he needed my friendship. I just want to be there for him.
In the first part of the dream I was standing in a parking lot with a bunch of people I didn't know and my friend neimy and some other kid. We were waiting to drop something off when this big grey broken down looking truck came up. In my dream I got really excited because my step brother was driving. I ran up to the pasanger side and was smiling and waving and saying hi. The guy on the passanger side just looked at me crazy and my step brother just started laughing. He looked like he was on drugs and I knew he was mad at me for not hanging out with him last time I said I was going to.
SIDENOTE/ANAYLSIS** I actually really was supposed to hang out with him last time I was in Vegas but I got scared and didn't want to becaus I didn't want to get in the car with him if he was on drugs.
So, we all go into this house and my friends are down stairs with some people and I go up stairs to get something from a bedroom. I felt my step brother following me up the stairs and it started to freak me out because he was definitely on something. When I got to the bedroom door I felt him grab my hips and I told him not and pushed him off of me. He got angry and grabbed me harder. I some how got away and made a run for the stairs where he caught me again. After he caught me I was some how able to throw him down the stairs. I got scared that he was dead so I told my friends to hurry. He ran out the door and he got up and started to run after us. We got in the back of this truck and drove away.
The End.
SIDENOTE/ANAYLSIS**
I don't know why I would dream my step brother is a pervert... He's pretty cool besides the drug use in real life. He's a pretty nice guy. We didn't grow up together so I don't know him to well. I do think he's really attractive though.
The second dream I had had nothing to do with the first part. This dream was the good one. It was very comforting and warm. It was about.. you guessed it.. Bryan. I had a dream that we lived next door at the house he lives at now. I was sitting outside on this lawn chair and saw Bryan walking away from the house I got nervous to see him so I went in the house for a second. I came back out and we saw each other for a couple seconds. He knew I was avoiding him a little but it wasn't out of anger or sadness. I just didn't know how to act when I was around him. One of his cousins started talking to me outside and told me that Bryan wasn't doing too good and I felt sad about that. I didn't want him to be sad. Bryan ended up coming up to me and telling me he wanted us to talk so I said okay. Later I saw him outside on the side of his house sitting on this red really big recliner. It was really comfy and could fit 2 people. He was talking to someone.. I think it might have been his brother. The converstation looked really sad and when Bryan saw me he just started crying. My immediate reaction in my dream was to grab him and hold him and that's what I did. In my dream it felt like forever that we were sitting there grabbing each other while he cried. At this point I was sitting in his lap wrapped around him as much as I possibly could be. He told me a girl broke up with him and he didn't think she was the one but he wasn't expecting it and that there was more to the story. I told him it was okay and that he would be okay. I had my arms wrapped around his neck and back and our faces were touching me. I told him I loved him and that he would be okay. He looked into my eyes and started kissing me. We sat on the couching making out his tears at this point all over my face. He had to go to some kind of meeting or something so he got up and told me he would tell me the rest later. I told him I hoped he felt better and then we both left. I then talked to some girl with dark brown hair in some office about it. I was asking her questions about the break up and then I woke up.
SIDENOTE/ANALYSIS*** Kind of weird that I'm having dreams about consoling him after a break up when we're ex's, it didn't feel weird in the dream though. I just wanted to make him feel better. The moment I saw him being sad I couldn't help but wrap myself around him. In the dream I felt like he needed it.. like he needed me and my friendship. Maybe I'm dreaming that because I wish it were true in real life. I think I wish he needed my friendship. I just want to be there for him.
Thursday, April 28, 2016
4/27/16
I dreamt that I was at a weird party and it was hot outside and everyone was half naked in the back yard jumping into this really dirty pool. I was just walking around hoping to leave. Also, this old lady was there looking for her son and I helped her find him and he was so embarrassed. When I went inside the house there were tables and I was sitting with these people and we were putting on these pretty flowers in a zip lock bag to keep. I have no idea why or where the flowers came from. We also started taking pictures against this wall and dancing in a fully lit room with no music. Lastly, for this part there was a girl that kept trying to fight everyone and she pulled my hair. I was just like can we kick this girl out alreadyd.
The next part of my dream I was out side on the side walk hanging out by this tent with uncle. There was a cart near by and i lived this blanket and found 4 dogs and a cat and there names were written on cardboard below them. They all started jumping out and I was trying to make sure they didn't go in the streets.
Last part.. I was trying to take my contacts out and a thick mucous layer came out and there was brown color in the shape of my eye on it. I looked in the mirror and my eyeball was completely white like i had taken out the colors. I made sure I could still see out of the eye and ran to my sister. I was freaking out showing her this big moucus thing that now turned into a huge plastic floaty looking eye thing. My sister told me just to put it back into my eye.
Then I woke up.
SIDENOTE/ANALYSIS** I think I had the dream about the eye thing because right before I went to bed I lost one of my contacts while taking them out.
The next part of my dream I was out side on the side walk hanging out by this tent with uncle. There was a cart near by and i lived this blanket and found 4 dogs and a cat and there names were written on cardboard below them. They all started jumping out and I was trying to make sure they didn't go in the streets.
Last part.. I was trying to take my contacts out and a thick mucous layer came out and there was brown color in the shape of my eye on it. I looked in the mirror and my eyeball was completely white like i had taken out the colors. I made sure I could still see out of the eye and ran to my sister. I was freaking out showing her this big moucus thing that now turned into a huge plastic floaty looking eye thing. My sister told me just to put it back into my eye.
Then I woke up.
SIDENOTE/ANALYSIS** I think I had the dream about the eye thing because right before I went to bed I lost one of my contacts while taking them out.
Wednesday, April 27, 2016
4/26/16
Slept for approximately 2 hours last night so ... it's safe to say I probably didn't have any dreams. I'm surprised I'm up right now.
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
Monday, April 25, 2016
4/24/16
Alright.... It would be cool if I could stop dreaming about Bryan now. For the past 4 days I haven't been his biggest fan so it could be cool if I stopped dreaming about him... Although, last night was my first bad dream about him. It was pretty awful. Here's my nightmare with Mr. Perfect.
Bryan and I were supposed to hang out when he was done taking this quiz. He told me he was done and I came over to his apartment. I walked straight to his room and he wasn't there. I layed on his bed and then saw some pink shoes on the floor.. Another girls shoes. In my dream I told myself.. it should be fine we aren't together.. but it made me sad. So, I broke the shoes apart and threw away a piece of the sandals.. I texted him asking where he was but he hadn't answered so I left the room and walked around to talk to his cousins. I said hi to everyone in the different rooms and his cousin Ulises talked to me for a little while in his room and then told me Bryan was downstairs.
I went down stairs and he was hanging out watching a movie with this guy. I said hi and bryan was like okay lets go and the guy asked Bryan if he was going to introduce him to me. Bryan looked at both of us and then told him no that I wasn't that important. I was so shocked. We walked out of the house and I started going off on him about what an asshole he was.
Once we got back to the apartment it turned into a house. The house looked like it was in Vegas. The white side of town though. There was a party going on now and we walked in and were hanging out but he was being so rude and acting like he didn't want me there. I was so mad because I didn't understand why he would say he wanted to hangout and then act that way. While we were talking and he was being so condesending and he looked at me annoyed and said "don't worry I won't do anything with anyone until you move on". I was angry because I felt like he was telling me I meant nothing. He was over it and I was the one still having problems and I wasn't having problems! I was having problems with him lying about wanting to hang out and treating me like trash and an annoyance.
SIDENOTE/ANALYSIS*** I'm pretty sure I was dreaming that last part because I actually feel like that in real life. He's not rude to me but definitely he just seems annoyed when we hangout. So I feel like he's just hanging out to be nice. Also, I am the one that this is harder for so yea i sorta do feel like i didn't mean much to him sometimes. Anyways...
After we argue I walk out the front door and hangout in the front by the garage just to get away from everyone. Then a car comes driving by and two girls are in the front seat. They both are white and look very trashy. They also look like they are 15 years old. As they drive by the girl in the passanger seat yells out the window that Bryan is hers now and they had sex and he likes her better.. Something along those lines.. I don't remember exact words.
I go back inside angry and decide to leave. I go upstairs to get my stuff out of Bryan's room so I can leave the party when the girls from the care walk into Bryan's room. The one girl starts yelling at me about what I'm doing in his room and about how he is hers. She says that he's been hers this whole time ... blah blah crazy white trashy girl yelling and cursing a lot. Then her mom comes up the stairs and starts yelling at me too. So I walk out of Bryan's room and go downstairs.
When I get downstairs I start yelling and cursing at Bryan. I was so angry and didn't understand why he invited me to be there if he was gonna have other girls there yelling at me. I didn't do anything wrong and I felt like I just kept getting attacked for no reason.
In my dream when I was yelling at Bryan he didn't even look phased. He wasn't sorry at all he just looked at me like, "well... what do you want me to do.. you can leave".
SIDENOTE/ANALYSIS*** I think I had this dream because I had been saying how I hadn't had a bad dream about Bryan yet.. It sucked.. I woke up angry and sad.. I really hope I don't dream about him tonight :/ I wish he would get out of my head.
Bryan and I were supposed to hang out when he was done taking this quiz. He told me he was done and I came over to his apartment. I walked straight to his room and he wasn't there. I layed on his bed and then saw some pink shoes on the floor.. Another girls shoes. In my dream I told myself.. it should be fine we aren't together.. but it made me sad. So, I broke the shoes apart and threw away a piece of the sandals.. I texted him asking where he was but he hadn't answered so I left the room and walked around to talk to his cousins. I said hi to everyone in the different rooms and his cousin Ulises talked to me for a little while in his room and then told me Bryan was downstairs.
I went down stairs and he was hanging out watching a movie with this guy. I said hi and bryan was like okay lets go and the guy asked Bryan if he was going to introduce him to me. Bryan looked at both of us and then told him no that I wasn't that important. I was so shocked. We walked out of the house and I started going off on him about what an asshole he was.
Once we got back to the apartment it turned into a house. The house looked like it was in Vegas. The white side of town though. There was a party going on now and we walked in and were hanging out but he was being so rude and acting like he didn't want me there. I was so mad because I didn't understand why he would say he wanted to hangout and then act that way. While we were talking and he was being so condesending and he looked at me annoyed and said "don't worry I won't do anything with anyone until you move on". I was angry because I felt like he was telling me I meant nothing. He was over it and I was the one still having problems and I wasn't having problems! I was having problems with him lying about wanting to hang out and treating me like trash and an annoyance.
SIDENOTE/ANALYSIS*** I'm pretty sure I was dreaming that last part because I actually feel like that in real life. He's not rude to me but definitely he just seems annoyed when we hangout. So I feel like he's just hanging out to be nice. Also, I am the one that this is harder for so yea i sorta do feel like i didn't mean much to him sometimes. Anyways...
After we argue I walk out the front door and hangout in the front by the garage just to get away from everyone. Then a car comes driving by and two girls are in the front seat. They both are white and look very trashy. They also look like they are 15 years old. As they drive by the girl in the passanger seat yells out the window that Bryan is hers now and they had sex and he likes her better.. Something along those lines.. I don't remember exact words.
I go back inside angry and decide to leave. I go upstairs to get my stuff out of Bryan's room so I can leave the party when the girls from the care walk into Bryan's room. The one girl starts yelling at me about what I'm doing in his room and about how he is hers. She says that he's been hers this whole time ... blah blah crazy white trashy girl yelling and cursing a lot. Then her mom comes up the stairs and starts yelling at me too. So I walk out of Bryan's room and go downstairs.
When I get downstairs I start yelling and cursing at Bryan. I was so angry and didn't understand why he invited me to be there if he was gonna have other girls there yelling at me. I didn't do anything wrong and I felt like I just kept getting attacked for no reason.
In my dream when I was yelling at Bryan he didn't even look phased. He wasn't sorry at all he just looked at me like, "well... what do you want me to do.. you can leave".
SIDENOTE/ANALYSIS*** I think I had this dream because I had been saying how I hadn't had a bad dream about Bryan yet.. It sucked.. I woke up angry and sad.. I really hope I don't dream about him tonight :/ I wish he would get out of my head.
Sunday, April 24, 2016
4/23/16
I got really drunk and didn't sleep until 3:30 am so I don't remember my dreams. This is pretty usual when I drink. So no new dream to post about today!
Saturday, April 23, 2016
4/22/16
Definitely had another Bryan dream..
I sort of hate it but love it at the same time.
So, last night I dreamt that I was on this hike in the desert with a bunch of people. We were watching for eagles and trying to keep them from doing something. I'm not sure what but it was a big deal. In my dream I found the eagle. It was huge!! It was trying to eat something and we were chasing it. It had a little mouse in its tallens and we were running toward it. When I got up to it it was kind of sitting on a wall but not on top of the wall.. it was on the side of the wall.. like a lizard or spider would be. Anways, the mouse was falling out from under it and it was trying to get a better grip. We shot the eagle with these were darts and it still kept flying!
For some reason there was a house ahead of us. The bird went toward the house with the open door and as I ran toward it I knew I had to make the decision on whether or not I was going to follow the bird into the house. I was on the fence about following the bird in because it just so happened to be Bryan's families house. Bryan was there for the weekend so I knew I would see him and I knew he would be freaked out that I was in his parents house without him inviting me.
SIDENOTE/ANALYSIS*** Bryan is actually at his parents house right now so this makes sense. Also I really like his family so I guess it makes sense that I'm also dreaming about seeing them.
So as you probably would guess I definitely did go into the house. Right when I ran in after the bird I all of a sudden realized I wasn't wearing any pants. JUST PINK BOY SHORTS. I was so embarrassed and hoping no one would see me. The plan was I would go in quietly and chase the bird out not being seen by anyone. I run in after the bird and chase it all the way back to a room that I know is Bryan's. In my dream there are multiple ways to get into most of the rooms so I leave the room and try to come in from another way. I end up running into a little boy.. I was confused because it wasn't bryan's little brother. I said hi to him and went along with my business kind of running away to get the bird. There is a bathroom in the middle of the living room and Bryan's bedroom.. The bathroom door is cracked and I know someone is in there so I run away to get back into the room with the bird. The bathroom also is connected to Bryan's room. I slightly open the door and there standing half naked... Bryan. All I could think is how embarrassed I was so I start closing the door and he stops me. He tells me to come in and asks what I'm doing there but in a good surprised way. He was happy to see me. I then I magically had pants on.. thank god. He was putting on clothes from just getting out of the shower when I was trying to explain about the bird. I showed him the dart and told him the bird was somewhere in the house and I wasn't sure where it had went. Then one of his brothers walks in and says hi to me. He starts talking about us and how good we were together. Bryan and I were sitting on a futon and his brother sitting on couch right to the side of us. When we first sat down Bryan put his hands on my back and quickly pulled them away as if he forgot we weren't together so those actions weren't okay anymore. I could feel him moving closer to me as his brother reminded us of so many nice things. Then all of a sudden the eagle came flying out of the curtains. We all freaked out and I grabbed the dart and bow thing that was with it and I shot. The bird finally came down in front of us.. still alive but tranquilized.
The next part me and Bryan were making out and his dad walked in. Me and his dad made eye contact while we were kissing so obviously I jumped back a little. His dad didn't seem fazed but I was so embarrassed. So then, I was like uuuh Bryan your dad is in here and he was like ooh hi dad.. Then his dad said hello to me and told me I should go say hi to Bryan's mom because she would be happy to see me. We went out into the living and it became aparent that a party was about to be happening. I saw his mom and went to say hi. His sisters also saw me and were really excited to see me they both hugged me and told me they were glad that I came and honestly I was really glad that I was there and really happy that they were glad I was there.
Bryan introduced me to two friends of his. As he was introducing me he said I was his girlfriend. I looked up at him shocked and he just smiled at me. The guys were like ooooh you're the girl. That made me feel so good. The guys walked away and Bryan told me he loved me and that he didn't want us to be apart anymore. He kissed me and I felt like the prettiest luckiest person in the world.
SIDENOTE/ANAYLSIS***The next part is really detailed and boring to write for anyone else who reads it but it was really nice. I know I miss spending time with Bryan but lucky (and creepily) for me I can just fake hang out with him in my dreams. Gosh.. I feel creepy but slightly okay with it.
His mom was offering me food and they were eating tamales. There were so many different kinds.. Bryan ate 6 and I ate 4... weird yes.. I remember exactly how many. I remember Bryan making fun of me for my flavor choices and both of us just laughing. Bryan wanted to leave and kept giving me this look so I felt like he wanted to have sex but I wasn't sure. He told his mom we would be leaving but she wanted us to stay so Bryan was a little annoyed I told him it was okay and to calm his moody pants down. Then we were standing in the living room and he told me to move in with him next year. He looked at me with the happiest look on his face and told me he wouldn't want it any other way and that we would just figure it out. He was like we can sleep on this futon that I have and it will be okay. I told him I do have a bed that we could just move into his place. And I told him that I need to go to school on the coast so that I was unsure. I told him I would get my lisence over the summer and then I could just commute to class and live with him.
SIDENOTE/ANALYSIS** Bryan actually has a really nice bed in real life so I don't know why we would have to sleep on a futon.. also .. I don't have a bed to contribute... lol
WAKING UP*** So, waking up I felt really good because I love dreaming about him. Seeing that we aren't speaking and I'm having these love/baby dreams about him though... is freaking me out.. I feel like a groupie or something. Like I'm so in love with someone who doesn't even know I exist. Yea I know he said he loves me like two days ago and that sometimes he regrets us breaking up but yea... I am definitely the one that can't get over this. Also, last night I went to bed really angry and sad/crying about him. He didn't really do anything.. except go home for the weekend. When he goes home for the weekend now all I can think is that he's hanging out/sleeping with his ex.. which makes me angry and sad even though I don't really have a right to be because we aren't together. So dumb. I hate my personal life right now. I need to get over him. As much as I love these dreams I'd also like them to stop so I can stop feeling like a super creep.
I sort of hate it but love it at the same time.
So, last night I dreamt that I was on this hike in the desert with a bunch of people. We were watching for eagles and trying to keep them from doing something. I'm not sure what but it was a big deal. In my dream I found the eagle. It was huge!! It was trying to eat something and we were chasing it. It had a little mouse in its tallens and we were running toward it. When I got up to it it was kind of sitting on a wall but not on top of the wall.. it was on the side of the wall.. like a lizard or spider would be. Anways, the mouse was falling out from under it and it was trying to get a better grip. We shot the eagle with these were darts and it still kept flying!
For some reason there was a house ahead of us. The bird went toward the house with the open door and as I ran toward it I knew I had to make the decision on whether or not I was going to follow the bird into the house. I was on the fence about following the bird in because it just so happened to be Bryan's families house. Bryan was there for the weekend so I knew I would see him and I knew he would be freaked out that I was in his parents house without him inviting me.
SIDENOTE/ANALYSIS*** Bryan is actually at his parents house right now so this makes sense. Also I really like his family so I guess it makes sense that I'm also dreaming about seeing them.
So as you probably would guess I definitely did go into the house. Right when I ran in after the bird I all of a sudden realized I wasn't wearing any pants. JUST PINK BOY SHORTS. I was so embarrassed and hoping no one would see me. The plan was I would go in quietly and chase the bird out not being seen by anyone. I run in after the bird and chase it all the way back to a room that I know is Bryan's. In my dream there are multiple ways to get into most of the rooms so I leave the room and try to come in from another way. I end up running into a little boy.. I was confused because it wasn't bryan's little brother. I said hi to him and went along with my business kind of running away to get the bird. There is a bathroom in the middle of the living room and Bryan's bedroom.. The bathroom door is cracked and I know someone is in there so I run away to get back into the room with the bird. The bathroom also is connected to Bryan's room. I slightly open the door and there standing half naked... Bryan. All I could think is how embarrassed I was so I start closing the door and he stops me. He tells me to come in and asks what I'm doing there but in a good surprised way. He was happy to see me. I then I magically had pants on.. thank god. He was putting on clothes from just getting out of the shower when I was trying to explain about the bird. I showed him the dart and told him the bird was somewhere in the house and I wasn't sure where it had went. Then one of his brothers walks in and says hi to me. He starts talking about us and how good we were together. Bryan and I were sitting on a futon and his brother sitting on couch right to the side of us. When we first sat down Bryan put his hands on my back and quickly pulled them away as if he forgot we weren't together so those actions weren't okay anymore. I could feel him moving closer to me as his brother reminded us of so many nice things. Then all of a sudden the eagle came flying out of the curtains. We all freaked out and I grabbed the dart and bow thing that was with it and I shot. The bird finally came down in front of us.. still alive but tranquilized.
The next part me and Bryan were making out and his dad walked in. Me and his dad made eye contact while we were kissing so obviously I jumped back a little. His dad didn't seem fazed but I was so embarrassed. So then, I was like uuuh Bryan your dad is in here and he was like ooh hi dad.. Then his dad said hello to me and told me I should go say hi to Bryan's mom because she would be happy to see me. We went out into the living and it became aparent that a party was about to be happening. I saw his mom and went to say hi. His sisters also saw me and were really excited to see me they both hugged me and told me they were glad that I came and honestly I was really glad that I was there and really happy that they were glad I was there.
Bryan introduced me to two friends of his. As he was introducing me he said I was his girlfriend. I looked up at him shocked and he just smiled at me. The guys were like ooooh you're the girl. That made me feel so good. The guys walked away and Bryan told me he loved me and that he didn't want us to be apart anymore. He kissed me and I felt like the prettiest luckiest person in the world.
SIDENOTE/ANAYLSIS***The next part is really detailed and boring to write for anyone else who reads it but it was really nice. I know I miss spending time with Bryan but lucky (and creepily) for me I can just fake hang out with him in my dreams. Gosh.. I feel creepy but slightly okay with it.
His mom was offering me food and they were eating tamales. There were so many different kinds.. Bryan ate 6 and I ate 4... weird yes.. I remember exactly how many. I remember Bryan making fun of me for my flavor choices and both of us just laughing. Bryan wanted to leave and kept giving me this look so I felt like he wanted to have sex but I wasn't sure. He told his mom we would be leaving but she wanted us to stay so Bryan was a little annoyed I told him it was okay and to calm his moody pants down. Then we were standing in the living room and he told me to move in with him next year. He looked at me with the happiest look on his face and told me he wouldn't want it any other way and that we would just figure it out. He was like we can sleep on this futon that I have and it will be okay. I told him I do have a bed that we could just move into his place. And I told him that I need to go to school on the coast so that I was unsure. I told him I would get my lisence over the summer and then I could just commute to class and live with him.
SIDENOTE/ANALYSIS** Bryan actually has a really nice bed in real life so I don't know why we would have to sleep on a futon.. also .. I don't have a bed to contribute... lol
WAKING UP*** So, waking up I felt really good because I love dreaming about him. Seeing that we aren't speaking and I'm having these love/baby dreams about him though... is freaking me out.. I feel like a groupie or something. Like I'm so in love with someone who doesn't even know I exist. Yea I know he said he loves me like two days ago and that sometimes he regrets us breaking up but yea... I am definitely the one that can't get over this. Also, last night I went to bed really angry and sad/crying about him. He didn't really do anything.. except go home for the weekend. When he goes home for the weekend now all I can think is that he's hanging out/sleeping with his ex.. which makes me angry and sad even though I don't really have a right to be because we aren't together. So dumb. I hate my personal life right now. I need to get over him. As much as I love these dreams I'd also like them to stop so I can stop feeling like a super creep.
Friday, April 22, 2016
4/20/16
I'm going to try to start writing my dreams again on this blog. It has been awhile and hopefully I keep up with it for awhile.
So, today is actually 4/22 but I'm going to start with a dream I had on 4/20.
In this dream I had a baby. Lyla Mckenzie Ibarra. Yes... Ibarra... Bryan's baby. In my dream I just hada little baby girl. She was tiny and bundled up in a pink and white blanket with pink flowers all over. She was wearing a blue and pink hat and was the smallest, peaceful, cutest baby I have ever seen in my life. In my dream my sister was trying to take care of my baby like I couldn't. Everyone was trying to do everything for me and I got so angry. I took my baby and left the room. This part of the dream was very hectic but it was weird because I felt so at peace.
The next scene I was laying in a hospital bed holding my baby girl. It's weird because I still remember exactly what she looked like. Bryan walked into the room and his face lit up like I had never seen. It was a scared/excited expression. He held out his hands and I gave him the little girl. My body felt so warm in my dream when I saw him holding her.
The next part, there was this big grey pitbull in the hospital.
SIDE NOTE/ANALYSIS** weird I know.. my cousin has been posting that dog on snapchat in real life for days now. So, I think thats the reason for the appearance of the dog in the hospital. Back to the story..
The dog ran toward the baby and I freaked out. Some how me and the baby were on the floor and I was fighting the dog to stay away from the baby. I obviously won and grabbed the baby while everyone around just watched.. including Bryan. It was like he couldn't get to me to help me even though he was so close.
WAKING UP****When I woke up from this dream I was really happy. I felt so well rested and a weird peaceful feeling washed over my body. It felt so good to wake up.. then I remembered me and Bryan just had a weird fight the night before and we probably won't be talking for awhile so that's also sucky.. I wanna tell him about the dream :P Now I can't... not until later when this weird crap is over atleast.
SIDE NOTE/ANALYSIS** I think I had this dream because I accidently texted him OUR baby when I meant to say YOUR(Meaning his).. so that was embarassing and a significant part of my day. So, I think that's where that dream came from.
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